Ten Mental Habits Making You Feel Overwhelmed and How to Break Them
It may not just be long hours that make you feel overwhelmed at work. It may also be mental fatigue that drains your focus and makes everything seem harder, even for the smartest professionals such as lawyers, executives, and others. You constantly feel like you’re dropping balls, can never slow down, and aren’t living up to your or others’ expectations.
Yes, relentless workloads, tricky clients, and always-on culture in today’s hyper-connected world play a role. And working parents feel it even more.
But pushing harder only makes it worse.
Do you want to feel less overwhelmed at work? Do you want more clarity, confidence, and impact? Then build your mental fitness. It’s the fastest, science-backed way, to get to the root cause of your sense of being swamped at work.
What does mental fitness have to do with it?
Mental fitness is defined as your capacity to respond to life’s challenges with positive rather than negative mindset. As Shirzad Chamine, author of the New York Times bestselling book Positive Intelligence, explains, building your mental fitness involves three core principles:
Recognize that your automatic, negative mental habits cause most of your feelings of stress and overwhelm
Understand that those habits are not the real you
Learn to choose mental habits that serve you better
The first step? Spot the mental habits (AKA saboteurs) that are hurting you the most. Here are ten common saboteurs and what to do about them:
The Judge
What it sounds like: “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with others? What’s wrong with the situation?”
You beat yourself down for not getting more done and think criticizing yourself and others drives success.
Try this:
Write down one or two things that will make today successful. Then go and do them
Focus on what you and others are doing right
If you are still having a hard time, ask yourself, “if a friend came to me with the same issue, what would I tell them?”
The Stickler
What it sounds like: “It has to be perfect — or it’s not worth doing.”
You obsess over details, have a hard time slowing down, and procrastinate for fear of getting it wrong.
Try this:
Drop unrealistic expectations of yourself and others
Sort tasks into two buckets: 20% that must be perfect vs. 80% that just need to get done
Done beats perfection every time
The Controller
What it sounds like: “I have to do it all. No one else can.”
You over-function, struggle to delegate, and feel uneasy when things aren’t done your way.
Try this:
Ask yourself what is the best use of your time
Delegate, delay or outsource items that are not mission-critical
Let others take charge — even if their way is different. In doing so, you are creating space for others to grow
The Hyper-Achiever
What it sounds like: “Once I hit this next milestone, I’ll finally feel good.”
You chase external validation but the goalposts keep moving.
Try this:
Remember that you don’t need to prove your worth
Learn to untangle your sense of self-worth from work outcomes
Re-define success based on effort and integrity, both of which are in your control
Find ways to enjoy the journey
The Hyper-Rational
What it sounds like: “Feelings get in the way.”
You lean so hard on logic that you disconnect from yourself and others.
Try this:
Name what you’re feeling — suppressing emotions doesn’t work
Recognize that logic alone won’t convince others unless they feel they’ve been heard
Be a human first, a working professional second
The Hyper-Vigilant
What it sounds like: “Something’s about to go wrong — always.”
You’re stuck in constant worry mode.
Try this:
Ask yourself what you are most stressed about
Map perceived risks. If it’s unlikely to occur or out of your control, accept it and let it be. But if it is likely to occur and/or is within your control, then take steps to protect against it
Remind yourself: constant worry doesn’t make you more prepared. Calm, focused attention does
The Restless
What it sounds like: “I’m bored — what’s next?”
You jump from one thing to the other, chasing the next dopamine hit, to avoid discomfort.
Try this:
Notice when busyness is a distraction for something bigger
Ask yourself why you are so afraid to slow down
Ground yourself with micro-breaks (deep breath, a walk, or music)
The Avoider
What it sounds like: “Maybe this will sort itself out.”
You put-off tough conversations, decisions and projects. As things pile up, you feel even more overwhelmed.
Try this:
If a task or project is making you cringe, it means it is too big. Chunk it and take the first baby step
Ask for help from someone who has done it before
Ask yourself: What action would I take if I knew I couldn’t fail
The Pleaser
What it sounds like: “If I say no, I’ll let people down.”
You say yes to everything, then feel resentful, drained, and even more overwhelmed.
Try this:
Know your non-negotiables (this could be saying no to certain types of work, not working past a certain time, limiting exposure to someone who drains your energy, or choosing to care less about something)
Remind yourself that you can’t please everyone. It’s not your job
If you always saying yes to everyone, you are letting yourself down
The Victim
What it sounds like: “Poor me. No one understands how hard this is.”
You feel powerless to make things better. And it spirals into dread and despair.
Try this:
Focus on things within your control
Identify concrete steps that you could take now to make things better
Take one small step today
Reach out to others. Connection builds strength
Final Thoughts
Your mental habits can either empower you or hold you back. The key to unlocking your full potential is to cultivate mental habits that truly support you.
If you want to find out which saboteurs are doing the most damage to your life right now, drop me a note through the Contact page and I’ll send you a free saboteur assessment.
