8 Strategies to Choose Health Over Perfectionism as a Working Parent
Letting go of perfectionism as a new working parent doesn’t mean lowering your standards. It means setting a bar that is realistic for you.
Here are eight strategies that helped me and other new parents find our footing, return to work, and thrive as working parents.
1. Know the Truth
Myth: Being perfect at work and home will help my transition. It will help me be a better working parent.
Truth: No, it won’t. The more you chase it, the harder it gets.Myth: Others expect me to be perfect.
Truth: No, they don’t. They expect you to do your work well and communicate clearly about your realistic bandwidth.
2. Reset Your Expectations
You can’t transition back to work as if nothing has changed. You and your priorities have changed, and that is a good thing. This is a time to embrace your “Path B” for now.
Try this:
Don’t strive to match your pre-baby work pace right away. Ease back in. It’s okay to take on fewer projects or say no to extras.
Expect bumps. Discomfort means you’re doing something new, not something wrong.
Expect mistakes. Forgetting daycare supplies or overlooking a task at work doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human.
3. Embrace Trade-offs
You won’t feel like you’re excelling everywhere every day. That doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Try this:
Recognize you can have everything you want, but not all at the same time.
Some days work wins, other days family does. Measure success over weeks or months, not hours.
Celebrate what you got done.
4. Stand Your Ground
That loud inner voice that says “you’re failing” or “others have it all figured out” is wrong.
Try this:
Remind yourself that you are not a lesser worker after kids. You are stronger and more resilient.
Talk to yourself like you would to a friend. Self-compassion boosts motivation and resilience.
Share openly with other working parents. You’ll quickly learn they face the same struggles.
Ask for feedback from your manager to stay aligned and supported.
5. Prioritize Ruthlessly
More hours won’t fix overwhelm. Overcompensating makes it worse.
Try this:
Work smarter, not harder.
Remember: there will always be too much to do. Your job isn’t to check off everything on your to-do list. Instead, focus on the few things that are truly important and do those.
Ask yourself, “Does this task advance my career, give me time with my kids, or spark joy?” If not, say no for now, or delegate it.
6. Speak Up About Boundaries
Don’t assume others know what you need.
Try this:
Tell your team when you need to leave or when you’ll be offline.
Put important family events on your calendar.
Talk to your manager about your workload and what feels realistic.
7. Engage in Self-Care
Rest, movement, and joy are not nice-to-haves. They’re necessities.
Try this:
Identify your non-negotiables.
Block them on your calendar like any other meeting.
Remember: no one knows what you need except you.
8. Build Your “A Team”
You don’t have to carry this season alone. Asking for help is a strength.
Try this:
At work, cultivate relationships that can support you.
At home, divide chores with your partner and outsource where possible.
Seek out a support system ranging from babysitters to coaches.
Final Thoughts
Perfectionism is an impossible standard. By giving yourself permission to reset expectations, accept trade-offs, and seek support, you create space to thrive—at work and at home.
Jane Magnuson is an ICF-certified coach who believes you can do both—continue growing the career you’ve built while parenting in the way that feels right for you. Before becoming a coach, she practiced law for 14 years, starting at Sullivan & Cromwell in New York, then with Hogan Lovells in New York and Jackson Walker in Austin, and later overseeing the risk management function at National Instruments in Austin. Drawing on her own experience and research, she has developed a proprietary approach to help working parents navigate the transition after having children and thrive in their careers. If you’d like support, drop me a note through the Contact page.
