Why Perfectionism May Be Sabotaging Your Legal Career
I know perfectionism well. For much of my 15 years practicing law, I was a perfectionist. It drove me to overwork, stress out over detail and feel like I never measured up. Meanwhile, at home, I was either obsessing over work or stuck in mom-guilt. Even hobbies brought little joy. Why bother if I couldn’t be the best?
Perfectionism in law is often worn like a badge of honor. It’s seen as a driver of excellence and success.
But the NALP Report on the 2024 Lawyer Perfectionism & Well-Being Survey, a national study of 700+ law firm attorneys, tells a different story. Perfectionism is strongly linked to anxiety, depression, and career stagnation. It also fuels procrastination, trouble delegating, overworking, and rigid all-or-nothing thinking.
The truth? You don’t need perfectionism to succeed. You’ll thrive more without it.
What perfectionism really is
Perfectionism isn’t just about high standards. Dr. Gordon Flett, a leading expert, calls it a fear-driven belief that you’re not good enough and that only perfection can make you secure. Unlike striving for excellence, perfectionism never finds relief in achievement. Each success fails to quiet the voice of not being enough, keeping you stuck in endless striving.
He cites three types:
Self-oriented perfectionism (demanding perfection of yourself)
Other-oriented perfectionism (demanding it of others)
Socially prescribed perfectionism (believing others demand it of you)
Socially prescribed perfectionism is especially harmful, driven by a need for approval.
What it looks like
Perfectionism shows up as over-controlling, overworking, and obsessing over details. It often sounds like:
“I’m always behind.”
“If I can’t be great, I won’t do it.”
“Mistakes paralyze me.”
“I must win, or I’ve failed.”
“I’m the only person who can do it right.”
What to do instead
As a recovering perfectionist and coach to lawyers and other high-performing professionals, I’ve found these science-backed strategies work best:
1. Know the truth
Myth: Perfectionism helps me career.
Truth: It is not. The more you chase it, the more you block yourself. What’s helped your career are things like intellect, credentials, courage, and even luck.
Myth: Without it, I will be mediocre.
Truth: Managing perfectionism isn’t lowering standards. It’s focusing time and energy where it matters.
2. Catch and shift
Perfectionism is a habit. When you notice stress or harsh self-talk, label it: “There goes my perfectionism again.” Then shift with a small physical reset like wiggle your toes, rub your fingers or take a walk.
3. Pick your top three
Long to-do lists create impossible expectations. Each day, circle your top three and do them. Done beats perfect most of the time.
A .300 batting average in professional baseball (i.e., getting a hit 3 times out of 10) is considered excellent. It shows you don’t need to be perfect to be excellent.
4. Apply the 20/80 rule
Sort tasks into two buckets:
The 20% that need A+ effort
The 80% that are fine with B effort
Most of life falls into the latter. One in-house counsel told me: “I used to redraft entire contracts. Now I focus on key provisions. The rest? Not worth the stress.”
5. Take action
Perfectionists stall waiting for the “perfect plan.” But progress comes from taking action.
Amazon and Starbucks use this model:
If a decision is reversible, act fast.
If it’s not, pause and plan.
Speed often matters more than perfection for reversible decisions.
6. Enjoy the journey
Perfectionism fixates on what’s missing. Instead, ask:
What am I grateful for today?
What small progress have I made?
What strength can I apply here?
7. Normalize mistakes
Perfectionists treat mistakes as enemies to avoid. A healthier approach is to expect them, learn from setbacks, and keep moving forward. After all, creativity and innovation are only possible when perfectionism—and the fear of mistakes—aren’t in charge.
Final Thoughts
Perfectionism isn’t who you are. It is a habit that you can unlearn.
It’s about showing up fully as an imperfect human and lawyer and being okay with it. Real impact comes from who you are and your willingness to keep showing up, not from being perfect. As Beyoncé once said, “Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.”
Read the full NALP report here: https://www.nalp.org/uploads/Perfectionism2024/ThePerfectionistParadox_Reporton2024LawyerPerfectionismStudy.pdf
I’m a lawyer turned executive coach, and I help attorneys elevate their careers without letting perfectionism run the show. If you’re ready for support with your next goal, drop me a note through the Contact page.
